Pancakes, Dates, and More!
by thehappystalkerball
Summary: In which Sakura is tricked into the longest date ever for the sake of proving pancakes to be better than waffles and French toast. Ino has her own ideas about Akatsuki fashion. Who's in the know and who isn't?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Prepare yourself for randomness and nonsensical ideas. I do not own Naruto.

Sakura sighed in annoyance. Naruto had wandered off again. Glancing down, she spotted some flowers on a bush and picked one, slowly picking off the petals. They were supposed to be on a team mission. Did Naruto not know the meaning of the word _team_? Had nothing Kakashi taught them sunk into that thick skull of his? She figured whatever had was probably knocked right back out by that perverted ninja guy that had dragged Naruto off for a few years of intense training. She was on the last petal, when a sharp object whizzed past her ear, slicing a few strands of hair from her head. It was stopped by the nearby tree and stuck out at an odd angle.

Heart beating wildly, Sakura whipped around, ready to defend herself from enemy ninja. Seeing a certain grinning, bright blonde maniac, she let her irritation be known. "Naruto! Are you crazy? Don't do stuff like that. We're on a mission, you know? This is _serious _stuff!"

Naruto gave her his best 'you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me' look. "Please, Sakura-chan!" Naruto exclaimed. "It's not _serious._ We're only out to collec sap from the trees for syrup. It's not that hard." He walked casually over to the tree and took his large shuriken out of it.

Yes, it was true. Tsunade had sent them on a mission to collect as much sap as possible from maple trees, so she could decide which tree produced the best syrup for her pancakes. Shaking her head, Sakura sighed miserably. "We really should be doing more important things. I can't believe that woman actually made this a mission."

"D-rank, too!" Naruto cried. "And she picked us to get it. I need higher ranking missions so I can get more money and buy more ramen!" Naruto paused. "When I become Hokage, the first mission I'm going to assign is to find the best ramen in the world. I'll make it an A-rank, too!"

Sakura wondered if Naruto ever thought of anything else. "That's ridiculous, Naruto! Hokage don't do that! Or they shouldn't, anyway!"

"What?" Naruto asked. "Why not?"

"It's just—it's just—I don't know. Hokage just shouldn't. I mean, this syrup thing is ridiculous. We should be looking for Sasuke," she lamented.

Naruto's ears perked. "Yeah, that'd be an A-rank, I'm sure."

Sakura glared at him. "I'm _serious!" _

A mischievous glint lit up Naruto's eyes even more so than what they already were. "Well, Sakura, I would love to go on that mission as I know exactly where to go."

"_What?!"_

"I know where Sasuke is," Naruto repeated.

Sakura stared at him, before grabbing him by the collar. "I know what you _said!_ What I want to know it why you didn't _say _anything _earlier_!"

"Hey, hey!" Naruto tried his best to look indignant, but went on to say, "You're really cute when you're angry, Sakura!"

Sakura threw Naruto down, muttering under her breath. Naruto drew himself back up, still grinning. He explained, "I found out with my new secret weapon."

"What? What is that?"

Naruto pulled out some of the sap-draining equipment and began draining sap. Sakura glared at him, sticking the equipment into another tree right next to Naruto's. "Well," she prompted. "What is it?"

Naruto leant in very close until he was able to whisper in her ear. "It's…." Sakura squirmed a bit at having Naruto's breath right in her ear. It was weird, but not completely unwelcome, which worried her a bit. He pulled away and she looked confused. Had she missed something? "What?" the confused girl asked.

Naruto shook his head before proclaiming, "The _internet, _Sakura! The _internet!_"

"The _what!" _Sakura cried, completely confused. "_Internet_? I've never heard of it."

"Well, duh, it wouldn't be a _secret_ weapon if you had."

Sakura was about to protest, but found herself flustered at Naruto's knowledge. "Well, what _is _it?"

A triumphant smile dominated Naruto's face and the mischievous glint in his eyes sparkled even more. "I'll tell you on a date over ramen as we stare lovingly into each other's eyes."

Words in the English language could not adequately describe the horror that contorted Sakura's feminine features. It's doubtful words in _any_ language could, but, in essence, it was a look of complete and utter rejection. "Eww! Naruto! Don't say stuff like that!"

Naruto looked a bit put off and simply shrugged. "Suit yourself," he turned back to his tree and diligently drained sap, humming under his breath. Sakura huffed and turned back to hers. They went in the opposite direction of each other and didn't meet up for another hour. When they finally did, the first words out of Naruto's mouth were, "Are you _positive_ you don't want to know about the internet?"

"I'm _positive _I don't want to stare lovingly into your eyes over ramen," she snapped.

"Aw, why _not?"_ Naruto asked, befuddled. "I mean, my eyes aren't scary or anything! I've been told they're pretty!"

"By who? That pervert?"

"Ew, don't say that. No, I just…" Naruto trailed off. They walked in silence for awhile until they came upon the village, which was a pretty short distance as they hadn't had to go out too far to accomplish their sap-gathering mission. Using their super speed that only awesome ninja have and that an average person like yourself can only dream of, the two arrived at the Hokage's place in less than two seconds flat.

Naruto burst through the doors, announcing, "We're _back_!" as loudly as possible just so everyone in the building would know that he and Sakura were, indeed, back.

"When he says it like that," Tsunade turned to a ninja sitting by her, who had a lopsided headband, and grayish hair sticking out at weird angles, who obviously had to be Kakashi, "it makes me think something bad is about to happen." Kakashi nodded in complete agreement as Naruto's announcement made him wary as well.

"I know!" Naruto spotted the two. "You missed me!"

"It was the three loneliest hours of my life," Kakashi deadpanned.

"Ew, Kakashi-sensei, don't say it like that!" Sakura reprimanded him. "You sound like a pervert."

Tsunade almost opened her mouth to say something, but Kakashi's one eyed glare warned her not to. She turned to the two teens. "So, about my syrup?"

Naruto proudly help up the box that contained twenty-four different jars of sap. "Yup! We got some of the best sap! Only the best for the Hokage!"

Tsunade peeked at it, then grinned. "Great! Now, go turn it into syrup."

Both Naruto and Sakura facefaulted. "What!" Sakura cried. "Are you serious?"

"Yes," Tsunade nodded gravely. "Go boil it or whatever. Then bring it back." She turned to Kakashi. "Go make me pancakes." Kakashi nodded and left. Tsunade leaned back in her chair and sighed contentedly. "I love being Hokage." She frowned at Naruto and Sakura, who were still staring at her. "Go. Now!"

The two scurried out. Sakura hid a mischievous smile as she and Naruto headed to his house. He had wanted to go to hers, but she had insisted going to his; she hoped she could find the _internet_ once there.

**Next chapter**: Will Sakura discover what this _internet_ is all about? Will Naruto go on his ramen date? Will Tsunade be satisfied with the syrup they have brought her? Will Kakashi make good pancakes! Find out in chapter 2 of Pancakes, Dates, and More!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks **so** much for the reviews. I love you people! Onward, ho!

Sakura poked her head into Naruto's cabinet, glancing around suspiciously inside it. Maybe the _internet _was in here. She frowned at its emptiness. Unless, the internet was invisible, she doubted she'd find it there. Naruto shook his head. "The internet isn't in there," he sang in a teasing tone. Sakura hopped up and whirled around, a determined look in her eyes.

"Well, I will find it before we're finished. You can't be that adept at hiding secret weapons. I mean, you're _Naruto!"_

"Hey!" Naruto insisted, "I'm adept in, like, everything. I'm, like, _super_-adept! And that's why one day I'll be Hokage!"

"And assign ramen-finding missions?" Sakura asked sarcastically.

"Exactly." As an afterthought, he added, "What's adept, anyway?" But Sakura was didn't answer, deep in thought about all the possible places Naruto could have placed the internet.

Naruto pulled out some pots and pans from a cabinet and put them on the stove. He stood back and glanced from the jars of syrup to the stove, uncertainly. "So, uh, how do you make syrup, Sakura?"

"What? How'd I know?" she asked, a bit appalled. Now Naruto looked a bit confused.

"What? Don't you cook? I just thought you'd know."

Sakura opened her mouth, then shut it, then opened it again. "_No_, I wouldn't." She huffed. She hung her head. "My mommy does all my cooking. There? Are you happy? I don't know how to cook!" she despaired.

Shocked, Naruto turned towards her. "What? I was just asking about the syrup; I don't know how to make it, either. I always buy it." He paused. "But I _do_ know how to cook!" He couldn't resist.

Sakura couldn't hide her surprise. "You do?" She knew he knew how to make ramen, but who didn't? But, then, he had been alone in this place for quite some time, so she guessed she shouldn't be so shocked. Still, she _was _shocked. Naruto could cook? That just seemed so…unreal.

He nodded. "Yeah, well, I _have_ been living here by myself for awhile," he said. "Someone has to cook." He turned towards her, grinning. "Of course, I mostly just eat ramen, but that isn't all. I _am_ a growing boy, after all!" He grinned. "So, see, if we got married, you wouldn't even have to worry about cooking!"

"I'd prefer having to worry about cooking."

Naruto sighed. He would make Sakura see the light. He would make her! It was his current life goal and he wouldn't stop until it was accomplished, he thought, giggling quietly as he twisted open a jar of syrup and dumped it into a saucer on the stove. Sakura raised her eyebrows, uncertain.

"Uhm, Naruto," she began, wondering if she had sent his last bit of sanity sprawling away from him. "Are you okay…..?"

"Of course!" he exclaimed. "I'm just excited about making this syrup!" He grabbed some sugar. "I guess we'll just dump some of this in, and Tsunade-sama said to boil it or something," he shrugged. He grabbed cinnamon, too. He grabbed some other spices, and some butter and oil. "For good measure," he told Sakura. She looked doubtful as he dramatically poured, sprinkled, or dumped some of each into the saucer.

Sakura stared at the mess in the saucer as it started bubbling up, and started shooting in different directions. "Ah, Naruto! Turn down the fire some!" She cried out, ducking as it spewed in her direction. Naruto had jumped out of the way and watched, wide eyed as the syrup began to paint his walls. He really didn't like boiling stuff like this. Was sap even supposed to do this? He began regretting throwing all that random stuff in there. Grabbing a nearby lid on the counter, he held it up shield-style as he made his way towards the stove and simmered the fire.

Sighing, he wiped his brow. "That was crazy, huh, Sakura?" He waited for her to answer, but didn't get one. He turned around. "Sakura?"

Sakura had made it to the scary place known as "Under Naruto's Bed." Surely, the _internet_ would be there. Where else could Naruto possibly hide something that sounded so _weird?_ It probably had to be enormous. _Like, three feet tall or something_, she thought. How could Naruto keep something like that hidden? Especially with his loud mouth; how long could he keep quiet about it? She suppressed a sudden scream at someone's hand on her ankle.

"Sakura, the internet isn't under here," Naruto laughed, looking thoroughly amused. The fact that _her_ antics were amusing _him_ was something completely new to Sakura. She frowned as she crawled out from under the bed. "You know, I'm still willing to show it to you if you go on a ramen date with me!"

Sakura stared at him. "I'll _eat_ ramen with you. Since we're already here and all," she tried.

"Oh, nuh-uh," Naruto shook his head and made gestures with his hands, signifying that he really did _not_ like that idea. "It _has_ to be a date."

There was a long, dramatic pause, and the two could hear the syrup pop and cackle in the Naruto's tiny kitchen. Sakura heaved a long, drawn-out sigh. "_Fine,"_ she gave in. "You leave me no choice. I'll go on your date with you." She looked at him, excitedly. "Now tell me about the _internet!" _

"No, no, we have to go on the ramen date _first_!" Naruto exclaimed, not willing to let himself be suckered into any schemes. "How about after we deliver the syrup to Hokage?" He jumped up, happily and sprinted back to the kitchen, anxious to finish.

"Sure, why not?" Sakura replied to empty air, pulling herself off the floor by his bed and rejoining him in the kitchen.

Tsunade rocked back and forth in her chair behind her overly large, elegant desk. She loved being the Hokage. It was the best job in the world; she couldn't believe she had struggled with this decision for so long. She must've been PMSing or something at the time. She sighed, wondering what was taking Kakashi so long with her pancakes and Naruto and Sakura so long with the syrup. It had been a little over an hour. She wanted to discover the perfect syrup for pancakes _before_ the next day, so she could have it with her pancakes in the morning. She had already discovered the perfect pancake; Kakashi simply had to follow the instructions she had given him. Some nice, old ninja had given them to her years ago and she had always wanted to try it, but always forgot. Now, that she was Hokage, though….she giggled a bit, once again thinking about how much she enjoyed her job.

Kakashi stared at the directions Tsunade had given him. Clearly, he didn't not quite agree with all the things scrawled across the pages. "Directions for the Best Pancake Ever," he read the title, his tone expressing just how much he believed that. Sighing, he began cracking eggs and mixing things in a bowl, wondering if "a half cup of the most sugary beverage in the room" would really make this pancake taste "out-of-this-world" as Tsunade had wanted.

He finally finished beating it after "one hour and twenty one minutes" had passed. That was ridiculous, really. He was missing _Ninja Idol_ for this! He thought bitterly, as he poured some of the batter into the saucepan.

Tsunade sighed, trying to stave off boredom. She wished those three would hurry. She would've gotten up to go check on them, but that would require her leaving her awesome Hokage desk and she just couldn't have that. After all, some other ninja might sneak in and try to sit in _her_ Hokage chair and she just couldn't have that! She turned when a ninja came through the doors; or, more appropriately, _rode_ through the doors.

"You!" Tsunade cried out, happily. "Go and see how Kakashi is doing, okay?"

"Why?" Kiba asked. "He's on a mission? What happened?"

"Yes, he's making me pancakes and it's taking him a long time."

"Are you _serious?!" _Kiba cried, looking somewhere between appalled and indignant. "That's not _ninja_ stuff!"

"Yes, it is," Tsunade insisted. "Actually, it's _more_ important than ninja stuff."

"_What?!" _

"Nothing's more important than pancakes! Although, French Toast is a close second," she insisted. Kiba stared at her strangely before she continued, "Kakashi's in the next building in my spacious kitchen. Go, check on him, and be quick. And get that gigantic thing out of here," she waved at Akamaru, who's tail kept swishing back and forth dangerously.

"He's not a _thing_ and he's not _gigantic!_" Kiba cried out defensively, before taking off.

Tsunade called out after him, "Hurry back!"

As soon as Kiba left, Naruto and Sakura entered the building again and Tsunade looked thrilled to see them. "_Finally!" _she cried out, happily. "It took you two long enough."

"Yes, but," Naruto proudly held up a jar that used to be filled with sap; now, a syrupy looking liquid was in there, "we made you the best! I'm sure it was worth the wait!"

"I hope so," Tsunade nodded. "We just have to wait for Kakashi to get here with the pancakes."

"Aww, can't you just taste it and tell us?" Naruto asked.

Tsunade shook her head. "No, it has to be on a pancake." She paused. "Why? Do you have somewhere you have to be?"

Sakura said "no" and Naruto said "yes" at the same exact moment. Naruto went on, "We're going on a ramen date."

"We're going to eat ramen," Sakura said at the same time, hoping it sounded less date-like.

Tsunade cocked her brow. "Oh, really?" she seemed intrigued. "That should be interesting."

"Oh, yeah!" Naruto agreed, while Sakura tried her best not too look too depressed about it. She feared Ino might spot her and Naruto and with Naruto's loud mouth, Sakura couldn't use the excuse they were just teammates discussing Sasuke-finding strategies.

Kiba burst into the kitchen, and watched as Kakashi flipped a pancake. It looked really cool, watching it flip in the air. That is, until the batter of the uncooked half hit the ceiling; it hung there for two seconds, before landed on the floor. Akamaru ran over to it and began licking it. Kakashi looked horrified and quickly pulled it away from the huge dog. He slapped it back down onto the saucer as if nothing had happened.

"He can have some of those," Kakashi pointed at a nearby trashbag, with pancakes heaped into it. "Most of those split in two. This is the first one that hasn't, and the directions say it'll only _taste_ great if it _looks _great."

"You're kidding." Kiba shook his head as he pointed Akamaru towards the discarded pancakes. "There you go, boy, eat up!" He hopped off the dog and wandered around the kitchen. "This place is _huge." _

"It is the Hokage's Kitchen," Kakashi pointed out, much less enthusiastic than Kiba.

"But _still!_"

"It seems less impressive after spending a couple hours in here and missing _Ninja Idol_ because of it."

"…_What?!_"

Kakashi paused before his eye lit up with amusement. "Oh, that's right. You're one of those people."

"One of what people?"

"You know. Oh, wait, you don't. You're one of those people. You're one of the people that aren't in the _know._"

"In the _know? _What?"

Kakashi nodded. "Exactly." He flipped the pancake again, made a funny face, flipped it over and put it on a plate. "Well, this is the most round one, so, I have to bring this to the Hokage now."

"You're giving her _that _pancake?" Kakashi nodded. Kiba cringed. "Ew. Well, I'll go with you. That's why I'm here. To get you."

"Yes, I might get lost trying to find my way back to her office," Kakashi deadpanned.

"Hey, it was her idea, not mine."

Since the Hokage's Kitchen is, naturally, connected to the Hokage's Office, it didn't take them any more than a minute to arrive. Tsunade looked thrilled to see them. "_Yes! Finally!_" she looked as giddy as a schoolgirl.

Kakashi held out the plate for Naruto to pour the syrup over it, which he did. He soaked the pancake. Kakashi set it down in front of her, and Tsunade grabbed a fork, since she was a Hokage and could have those and didn't have to eat with chopsticks like everyone else in the village. She cut off her first piece, excitedly, popped it in her mouth and beginning chewing, a thoughtful expression on her face as she savored the taste. She had wanted to _savor _it. Instead, her face went from thoughtful to utterly disgusted. After swallowing, she flipped the pancake over.

"Kakashi, half of this pancake is completely black."

"Oops," Kakashi winked. "But it was the roundest!"

"It's horrible!" She cried out, shaking her head. "Not fit for consumption." Kiba almost told her Akamaru had seemed to like it, but at Kakashi's glare, decided not to. "You'll have to make it again."

Kakashi, Sakura, and Naruto all looked horrified. "But the syrup?" Sakura asked, hopefully. "Was that okay?"

"No, utterly and completely disgusting." She sighed. "I'll let you go for now, though," she decided, looking at Naruto and Sakura. "Since I know you two have a date." Kakashi's head whipped over to them faster than a ninja with the ability to move at the speed of light!

"You two are dating?" He asked, before winking. "Have fun!"

"No, we're not _dating_!" Sakura cried.

"Yes!" Naruto exclaimed at the same time.

"Whoa, go Naruto!" Kiba pumped his fist in the air and Naruto did so as well. Sakura glared at both of them.

"Kakashi!" Tsunade grinned. "You don't have anything to do, so I want you to keep working on that pancake recipe until you get it exactly right, okay?"

Kakashi's face fell, but he nodded.

"Dismissed!" Tsunade waved to Sakura, Naruto, and Kiba and they filed out. Kakashi left as well, head hanging as he headed back towards the Hokage's Kitchen. Tsunade leaned back in her chair, marveling again at the wonders of being Hokage.

**Next time:** Will Sakura and Naruto stare into each other's eyes lovingly on their ramen date? Will Ino find them? Will Sakura finally learn about the internet? Will Kakashi make the perfect pancake? Will Kiba figure out what is the _know _and who all is in it? Will Tsunade get her perfect pancake with the perfect syrup creating the perfect breakfast? Find all this out and more in chapter 3 of Pancakes, Dates, and More!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thanks again **so** much for taking the time to review; it really means a lot to me! There seems to be disagreement about what's best: pancakes, French toast, or waffles. Hmm. I can use this! I know, I'm so weird! I hope you all enjoy!

* * *

Naruto giggled to himself as he waited for Sakura outside his favorite illegal ramen bar. He was so excited. "As giddy as a schoolgirl," passersby murmured when they saw him. Well, some murmured that, others murmured, "He's not stable and he's going to blow this place to smithereens; let's go to another ramen bar." The Hidden Leaf village was riddled with illegal ramen bars, after all.

A figure completely covered from head to toe in a black mourning gown approached Naruto. He jumped back, trying to avoid the creepy figure; you couldn't even see its face! Such a shady character! What if it kidnapped him and forced him to work in a ramen bar? He pondered upon that for a minute and realized it wasn't such a bad thing; maybe he should start begging. It leaned closer and Naruto grabbed its wrists. "_Take me!_ I'll work in any ramen bar for any price!" The figure wrenched Naruto's fingers off its wrists.

"Eww, Naruto," Sakura cried out, prying at his fingers. "Don't every say that to me again! Not like _that_, anyway!"

Naruto's jaw hit the floor. "_Sakura!" _

Sakura cleared her throat. "Uh, yeah, hey, Naruto."

Naruto looked horrified. "What is with that _hideous _dress?"

"Hey, it's not _that_ hideous!"

"Yeah, it _is!_ It's horrible. I'm not dating you if you're going to wear a funeral dress when we're out!"

"We're not _dating._" Sakura insisted. "We're just _eating _ramen with each other."

"Pfft! Not with you looking like that!"

"What? I see! This is all about looks!"

"Hey, you wouldn't want to date someone in that outfit, either!"

"That's not true!" she insisted. "I brought you one, too!"

"You _are_ joking, right?"

"No."

Naruto sighed. He was hoping he wouldn't have to use this, but when desperate times call for desperate measures, "Sakura, that dress makes you look fat."

"_Whaaaat?"_ Sakura screeched, ripping off her black gown in no time. Luckily, she _did _have clothes underneath; her regular outfit. It wasn't anything special but way better than that lame dress she had on moments ago, Naruto thought.

"Okay! Yay! Ramen!" Naruto exclaimed, practically hopping from foot to foot. Grabbing Sakura's hand, he dragged her into the ramen bar. A lot of people milled about drinking milk and eating ramen. It was pretty hard to believe some of these places were illegal, but they were.

Naruto found a table for two for them. It was a cute little round bistro table off in the corner with cute, matching chairs. Sakura hopped on as did Naruto and they waited for their ramen; it was pointless to place an order as ramen bars only served ramen so they knew what you wanted as soon as you walked in! It simplified things immensely.

Naruto promptly began shoving ramen into his mouth, with little regard for mannerisms. Sakura chewed on some thoughtfully and then sipped some milk, realizing this wasn't so bad after all. She imagined it being torture, in an illegal ramen bar with Naruto, of all people. Naruto gulped some milk and glanced around looking a bit uneasy. It hadn't occurred to her before, but Sakura began to wonder if Naruto was actually nervous about this forced date. However, the next words out of his mouth assured Sakura that he was not nervous at all.

"So, isn't this great, Sakura? We can stare lovingly into each others' eyes now! Yay!" Propping his elbows up on the table, he rested his chin in his hands and stared at Sakura adoringly.

Sakura tried not to spit out her ramen in horror, but swallowed it and desperately thought of something to talk about other than staring lovingly into each others' eyes. There was something she was dying to know as well so as she sipped her milk, she asked, "Naruto, why are some of these ramen bars illegal? They don't seem to be doing anything wrong."

"It's because they only serve expired milk."

Milk spewed on their food as well as Naruto's face as Sakura spat it out, horrified. "Are you _serious?_ What the heck are you thinking? Dragging me on a date to drink _expired milk?_"

Naruto shrugged; it had never really fazed him. "They have to do something to be illegal you know." He took a swig of some of his milk. "I've been drinking it for years and I'm fine."

Suddenly, in Sakura's mind, so many things concerning Naruto made so much more sense. "Anyway," Sakura leaned over the table, anxiously. "About the _internet._ You can tell me now, right? I'm on the date!"

"I said 'after' the date," Naruto reminded her, grinning madly. Sakura was about to say something in protest, but a very familiar feminine voice chose that exact moment to make her presence known.

"Look at you two; you look so much like lovers. It's so cute," Ino grinned broadly, thoroughly amused. Addressing Sakura, she went on, "I had no idea you had a crush on Naruto." Turning towards him, she winked. Turning back to Sakura, she added, "So, I guess this means Sasuke is all mine now."

Sakura and Naruto both exclaimed different answers at the same time and anyone who knew them would be able to guess all too well which shouted, "yes," and which insisted, "no!" Sakura glared at Ino. "What you doing in this ramen bar, anyway?" she demanded. "It's illegal, you know. They serve expired milk only."

"Yes, I know." Ino replied smoothly, "I'm here for a PHA meeting."

"PHA?" Sakura and Naruto both repeated at the same time.

"You two are so in sync it's adorable!" Ino squealed. Sakura's glared hardened and Naruto smiled brightly at her. Ino explained, "**P**ancake **H**aters **A**nonymous. That's what PHA stands for."

"Well, it's not anonymous anymore," Naruto pointed out to which Ino only winked.

Sakura stared at her in disbelief for a full minute. "You hate pancakes so much you joined a pancake hating club?"

"Well, no, I don't hate pancakes with every fiber of my being, though some people in the club do. I just don't like the attention the Hokage gives them is all. She's going to declare them the best breakfast in the world once her special, secret 'breakfast team' has created the perfect pancake breakfast. Well, that's the rumor anyway." She paused. "If we could just find that team, we could make them not succeed in their mission." She sighed.

Sakura and Naruto looked a bit uncomfortable when Shikamaru approached looking bored as ever. Naruto looked at him, surprised. "You hate pancakes, Shikamaru?"

"Pretty much," he acknowledged. "I'm part of the WLA, too." At Naruto and Sakura's bewildered looks he went on, "Waffle Lovers Anonymous," he expanded.

Sakura blinked. "I had no idea breakfast was such a big deal in our village!"

"Where have you been, Sakura?" Ino asked. "It's the latest thing. People everywhere are choosing and picking whose side to be on; the Hokage's or the PHA's. You should choose soon, too! Anyway, you two lovebirds have fun!"

Shikamaru looked less bored now and peered at the two cautiously. "What? It's a date?"

Sakura hung her head as Naruto loudly told Shikamaru that it was, indeed, a date. Shikamaru seemed a bit thrilled and Sakura couldn't help but suspect he had some ridiculous reason as for why he looked so thrilled, which was just weird, considering Shikamaru generally only looked bored. He nodded at them and took off after Ino for their meeting in another room in the bar.

Naruto drank some more of his expired milk, glancing around. "Wow, I had no idea there were so many food clubs in Konoha! When I'm Hokage-!"

"Wait," Sakura cut him off. "Let me guess. You're going to declare ramen the best food and make a RLA club? Ramen Lovers Anonymous."

"Wow, Sakura-chan! We really are meant to be together! You almost read my mind!"

"Almost…?"

"It'd be the RRW."

"'RRW'?"

"Ramen Rules the World!"

Sakura let out an amused sigh. "Of course." Leaning towards Naruto again, which he relished, she whispered, "I hope they don't find out we're part of that team. I didn't know anyone else knew about the Hokage's mission and I had no idea we were considered a 'special team.'"

Naruto was too busy staring adoringly into Sakura's eyes so nothing she said actually sunk in. He simply nodded, hoping he was timing it right. She slapped him lightly on the arm. "Naruto! Pay attention! We need to figure out a way to find Sasuke. Instead," she sighed, "we're just looking for tree sap so Tsunade can have a good _breakfast_!" She looked on the verge of tears. "You care, too, don't you Naruto? Sasuke was your best friend after all!"

Naruto stared at her a bit uncertainly. Being Sasuke's best friend had turned out to be very dangerous. And frustrating, he mentally added a bit bitterly. Seeing Sakura so torn up over it, he sighed defeatedly. "Fine," he grabbed her hand, surprising her and pulled her away from the table. She opened her mouth to ask her, but he held up a hand, silencing her. "We'll go look for him. I know how to!"

"Really?" Sakura looked doubtful.

"Yes," Naruto nodded confidently, "After all, the _internet _is on my side!"

Sakura perked up at that. "Oh, yes, the date's over, so about that!"

Naruto shook his head. "No, no, we didn't stay long at all and we're leaving early because you're crying and people aren't supposed to cry on dates. We'll just say it's an extended date and we're still on it."

"What? When will it be over?"

"I don't know. Until we find Sasuke?"

"What?" Sakura tried not to scream. That could very possibly turn into the longest date ever! They might even be able to make it into Konoha's Village Records Book! She wasn't sure if she wanted all of Konoha to know that she and Naruto had been on an overly long date.

"You want to find Sasuke, right…?"

Sighing, Sakura gave in and allowed herself to be dragged away from the ramen bar to the next stop on their "date." Naruto dragged her to the Hokage's place, looking rather excited. Bursting through the door, he quickly leaned over to Sakura and whispered in her ear, "Let me do all the talking." Sakura tried not to blush at that uncomfortable feeling she'd had earlier that day when Naruto's breath had been in her ear. It was so weird; it was unnerving. Naruto bounded up to the Hokage practically dragging the flushed pink-haired girl with him. Tsunade raised her brows at their sudden presence.

"I trust your date was hit?"

"We're still on it!" Naruto beamed and Tsunade decided not to ask. Naruto grinned at her, excitedly. "Tsunade-sama, I've found the perfect place for gathering tree sap for your syrup. It's a bit of a ways out so I was hoping you'd give us permission to leave right away." He quickly pulled out a map and pointed to a bunch of trees, eyes alight with anticipation. "It's called the Sap Grove," he explained. "It's supposed to have all kinds of sap there and one has to be the sap that will make the ultimate syrup."

Tsunade gave a quick glance at the map, but didn't pay too much attention to where it was located. "Did you find this out from your….._secret weapon_?" she demanded. Sakura nearly fainted. Tsunade knew about the internet, _too? _Sakura was suddenly feeling very out of the loop. Naruto nodded, smiling broadly. "Good, then you have permission to leave right this very second!"

Allowing Naruto to continue dragging her as he raced out of the room, Sakura began to wonder if the whole village was playing a weird practical joke on her. All normalcy seemed to have dissipated within the last week or so and it was really starting to get at her. If this kept up, she might very well lose her mind.

Tsunade put her hands behind her head, sighing contentedly. Naruto had used that device she and Jiraiya had supplied him with; actually she had given it to Naruto. He was the most curious ninja she knew so he could probably find a better use for it. Better than the use Jiraiya had found for it, anyway, she thought, annoyed at her old teammate.

Glancing around, she noticed with much satisfaction how clean her office was. Her job was so easy, it was almost ridiculous, she mused. She had totally lucked out, becoming Hokage when there were nine rookie ninja with beyond awesome talent and talented teachers to teach them, too. Well, there _had_ been nine, anyway. Until that Orochimaru had stolen Sasuke away from them. Well, she still had _eight_ beyond awesome ninja to protect the village with help from their teachers, so she wasn't too worried about the village's defenses. It helped that all of them were super talented _and _eager to please. It was like a dream come true, really.

Leaning forward, she studied the map more closely and noticed that the tree grove Naruto had pointed out was right next to the Hidden Sound Village. Narrowing her eyes, she came to the logical conclusion that they would obviously be searching for Sasuke as well as gathering syrup. Hopefully, they wouldn't find too much trouble during their quest. It was Tsunade's own personal dream that Orochimaru had accidentally turned Sasuke into a red and black cow. Not because she disliked Sasuke, she simply wanted to see Orochimaru suffer and how much more awful could one feel after turning one of their own prodigies into a colored cow? That would be the most humiliating thing in the world, Tsunade decided. Though, accidentally turning one's own prodigy into a colored cow with only two and a half legs would be a close second, she mused. She briefly wondered if he _had_ done that, would Sasuke still possess ninjutsu abilities and if he did, would make him the first ninja cow ever? She shook her head, shaking her strange thoughts out of her mind and remembering that Kakashi was _still _making her pancakes; it sure was taking long.

Tsunade _thought_ Kakashi was making her pancakes, but, in truth, he simply could not stand to miss anymore of _Ninja Idol_ and had wandered off so he could catch the last few hours of it. He figured Tsunade slept at her desk as she feared someone else might actually sit there for two seconds and she treated that thing as if it were her only child. She wouldn't miss him for awhile.

Neji watched silently as Naruto pulled Sakura through the village at top speed, Sakura struggling to get out of Naruto's iron fist and trying to keep her feet on the ground at the same time. Naruto was such an amusing person; when Neji was bored he would simply seek the blonde out, spy on him for awhile and watch as Naruto did some of the dorkiest yet most amusing things ever and Neji could be silently entertained for hours. It occurred to Neji this could be considered very weird by _some _people, but he was well aware that he was not the _only _person that did this. He wondered how long it would be before Naruto realized that quite a few people used him as their source of personal entertainment. This new development was quite interesting and Neji decided to follow the two. He began to take off when someone else caught his attention first. Kiba had come barreling around the corner, riding Akamaru. Spotting Neji ready to leave, Kiba shot him a questioning look.

"Where are you off to?"

"No where."

"Doesn't look like it."

"It should."

"Hey," Kiba bit his lip nervously, "Do you know---- the _know?" _

Neji cautiously raised an eyebrow. "You don't?"

Kiba looked a bit ashamed, but admitted, "No."

"Well, that's why you're not in it," Neji explained, ready to take off. He was anxious to leave, even though he didn't seem so.

"What?!" Kiba cried, upset. "Well, tell me, if you're so smart!" He challenged.

"You're irksome." Neji told him before taking off, ignoring Kiba's confused look.

"What's that?" Kiba wondered aloud.

Neji might not have known it or maybe he did as it was always hard to tell with him, but both of his teammates spied on him, each for a different reason, so he was not completely alone when he left the village but neither of them acknowledged their presence nor did he acknowledge theirs.

Kiba shook his head after Neji had left. He still hadn't figured out what the _know _was exactly. And now he had to figure out what "irksome" was, too. Who used words like irksome in conversations, anyway, he thought, annoyed. He would find out and then if it was a compliment there wouldn't be a problem. But if it were an insult, oh boy, he would hunt that guy down and—well, Kiba wasn't sure what he'd do yet, but he was sure to figure out something!

"Naruto," Sakura cried out, finally ripping herself out of Naruto's grip. They were outside the village now and she was utterly confused. "I thought you said we were going to find Sasuke! Not go to a grove of sap trees!"

"We're doing both!" Naruto exclaimed, taking a moment to explain things to Sakura. "I found out from the internet that a grove of trees that produce awesome sap is by the place Sasuke is. Dotdotdotninja told me on chat!" he grinned. Sakura looked at a loss.

"Dotdotdotninja?" she asked, clearly not very fond of the name. Speaking of names, there was that word again: _internet_. Sakura was beginning to wonder if she'd ever get her hands on that weapon.

"Yup!" Naruto nodded again, grabbing Sakura's hand and taking off. "We have to hurry! We can sleep in the Sap Grove!"

Sakura wasn't so sure she liked this idea, but it involved finding Sasuke and Naruto seemed positive this was where he was. After all, the _internet _had told him so. She began to wonder what else the internet had told him. The internet must have been an actual person, she realized, if it could talk. Laughing, she yanked her arm away from Naruto and picking up speed, raced past him, excited that finally they were doing something other than _just _ridiculous missions; now they had a ridiculous mission, serious mission, and a date all rolled into one! And, maybe, just maybe she could talk Naruto into telling her about the internet before their "date" was over.

**Next time:** Will Sakura and Naruto find Sasuke? Will their date end? How will Neji and his team fare? How long will it take Kiba to realize the word irksome is not kind when using it to describe someone? More importantly, when will Naruto tell Sakura about the internet? Find all this out and more next time in PD&M!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews as always! As for the reviews, I wasn't sure before and I'm still not sure about using the reply button. But I figure I should start (even though, like, only four people have ever replied to my reviews) unless you'd rather me not? Anyway, yeah, I'm not French and, although, I like French toast best of the three, I'm going to try my best not to show any bias because, you know, this topic is so important and all, I must be impartial.

"Naruto," Sakura finally managed to free herself from the blonde boy's death grip on her wrist. Standing still, she folded her arms and glared at him. Sensing Sakura's intense gaze, Naruto halted, turned towards her and offered her a sheepish grin.

"I _know _what you're thinking, Sakura-chan, but I _swear _we're not lost. I know exactly where we are."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you don't hear _that _often. We're lost, Naruto-kun! How did you manage to get us lost?"

"Well, it's not just my fault!" Naruto exclaimed defensively, before clamping his hand over his mouth. "Oops," his sheepish grin from before reappeared, only more even more sheepish.

Sakura threw her arms up in the air, frustrated. "I knew it! I knew it! We're lost." She found the nearest tree, which wasn't hard as trees were everywhere, and slumped against it. "We got lost….trying to find a grove of sap trees of all things."

"Well, not just any sap trees," Naruto started to point out, before Sakura's glare shut him up.

"I really don't want to hear it," she told him. "I was so looking forward to being able to finally try and find Sasuke-kun." Suddenly, Sakura's face changed from one of despair to determination; Naruto marveled at how her just bringing up Sasuke's name changed her whole demeanor. It was pretty cute, he thought. A bit annoying it was _Sasuke _and not him, but he could overlook that detail for the time being. He doubted Sasuke had changed too much in the time they'd been apart; well, at least with his attitude towards fangirlish crushes. At least, Naruto hoped he hadn't. Dropping her sweet ninja backpack with sweet ninja tools on the ground,Sakura began to rummage frantically through it.

"What are you looking for?" Naruto asked, curiously, dropping his own ninja backpack on the ground and pulling stuff out of it. After a few moments, Sakura stopped her rummaging and stared at Naruto incredulously.

"You had a _mini ramen bar_ in your backpack!" She exclaimed. Naruto was sitting at a miniature table that was very reminiscent of a bar with four bowls built into it and he had different flavored ramen in each one. Slurping his ramen, he looked at her surprised by her stupor at his little bar.

"Uhm, yeah," he nodded, trying not to make the situation even more awkward.

"What the? How on!" Sakura was rendered speechless as she continued staring at him. Normally, Naruto might enjoy this type of attention, but being stared at like he was an exhibit at a museum wasn't something he was entirely comfortable with. He wondered if this was akin to what Sasuke felt when the girls openly drooled over him. Maybe that's why he never responded. Glancing around, hoping Sakura would go back to rummaging in her sack, Naruto said nothing. When she didn't, Naruto burst into laughter that was somewhere between amused and awkward.

"I ordered it online," he explained. "The internet."

"The _internet _gave you a _mini ramen bar_?" Sakura was beyond confused now.

"No, no, I had to pay for it. It folds up so it fits in backpacks like ours, see?" Naruto began folding his ramen bar up. Sakura's jaw dropped even more, before she finally collected her senses and shook her head.

"Okay, anyway," she dug through her sack a little more before pulling out something. "This," she proudly showed Naruto, "will help us out a little."

Naruto stared at her dubiously. "It's a twig...that's silver," He commented, obviously not convinced it would help them.

Sakura looked at the silver twig-like thing in her hands, "Well, yes. Sorta. But when you lift it up, it blinks rapidly and silver light shoots high up into the air. It can only be seen by the person with the other silver twig!" She whipped out the one and presented it to Naruto as a game show host would present a prize to the winning contestant. Naruto stared at it incomprehensively.

"I don't get it," he said flat-out.

Sighing, Sakura grabbed Naruto's hand, which he didn't protest to, and planted the silver thing in his hand firmly. "Hold on to that," she instructed. "This way, we can cover more ground. There are so many trees everywhere; one of them is bound to be the grove we're looking for."

Naruto stared at her in disbelief for a full two minutes before finding his voice, "You want to _split up?_"

"Sort of!" Sakura looked somewhat offended that Naruto looked so horrified at her idea. "We won't go far and we'll have these," she waved her silver twig thing in the air.

"You want to _split up_?"

Frowning slightly, Sakura nodded. "Well, yeah! It's going to take us forever to find that grove and maybe you haven't noticed, but the sun's not out anymore!"

"You want to _split up_?"

Sakura looked incensed now and was on the verge of hefting up her ninja sack and throwing it hard at Naruto. "We have these and we won't be far from each other at all," Sakura pointed out again.

"They're _twigs!_" Naruto exclaimed staring at his doubtfully.

"Look, I'm just going to run over there," she pointed towards a certain direction. The trees around them were dense, so if they weren't right by each other, they could easily lose each other in the trees. Of course, they could _sense _each other with their awesome ninja skills, but neither Sakura nor Naruto were so great at that to the point where they could pinpoint the other person _exactly_, which was why Sakura was anxious to use her neat tools that she had never used before. "Now, I'm going to test this out," she explained waving her silver twig thing at Naruto, "so let me know if its working, okay?"

Nodding numbly, still not too thrilled at the idea of splitting up; after all, safety in numbers and he didn't want to be apart from Sakura-chan for no longer than one nano-second. Sakura ran off into the trees. Moments later, a silver beam of light appeared before Naruto.

"Okay!" He shouted as loudly as he could. "It's working!" The silver beam disappeared and he frowned. "Wait! No, it's not!" The light appeared again. "It's working again!" It vanished and, confusedly, he exclaimed, "It stopped again!" Sakura walked back over to him, an odd mix of amusement, frustration, and anger on her face.

"Well," she paused. "I'm not going to say it." She shook her head in bemusement. "But," she frowned at him. "Any reason you felt possessed to SCREAM TO THE WHOLE WORLD?" She yelled even more loudly than he had been. Naruto jumped at her sudden rise in tone and stared at her bewildered, eyes wider than she had ever seen them.

"Whoa, Sakura-chan! That's some voice!" He gasped. "You could wake the dead with that thing." Sakura looked insulted was about to respond before something caught them both completely off guard.

Sudden laughter echoed around them, before stopping abruptly after a moment. Sakura and Naruto both stared at each other.

"What was _that?_" Sakura demanded. Naruto stared at her, mouth agape.

"You really did wake the dead!" He accused her.

"What? That's impossible!" Sakura insisted, trying to sound more confident than she felt. That really wasn't possible….was it? She worried, glancing around frantically. Naruto sent furtive glances in every direction, half expecting zombies to jump out of nowhere and feast on his brain.

-

Neji stared at Sakura and Naruto, trying not to look _too _amused, but, really, it couldn't get any better than this, he thought. They thought he was some kind of ghost! It helped that he was so awesome he could completely mask his presence from anyone. He laughed again and the two looked even more tense. He wondered if it was really so hard for them to figure out that it was he who was laughing, then realized that he had never really genuinely laughed around them, let alone anyone else. His laugh sounding somewhat sinister in nature probably did not help matters, either, he figured. Well, it amused him to no end, so who cared, really?

-

More eerie laughter filled Sakura and Naruto's ears. Sakura flung her twig thing on the ground and clutched Naruto's hand. "L-let's forget about splitting up," she whispered, glancing around the trees, wondering what was hiding behind them. She couldn't sense anything which only made Naruto's theory of the dead make more sense. At least in her panicked mind it seemed to make sense. If she had really stopped to rationalize it, she would've found the whole thing completely ridiculous, but fear and panic tend to render most normalpeople of most or all their logic and Sakura was no exception.

Under normal circumstances, Naruto would have enjoyed having Sakura clutch desperately at his hand, but, right now, he wasn't so sure he wanted a girl attached to him that was capable of waking the dead with just her voice. If Naruto had stopped to rationalize the situation, he would've come to the same conclusion; Sakura's loud voice could wake the dead and zombies were hiding behind every tree that he could see.

"Okay," Naruto whispered uncertainly. "I read on the internet somewhere that if you stick a stake through a zombie's heart, they'll drop dead."

"They have hearts?" Sakura whispered back, confused. "They're dead. Or were. Or are. Undead."

"Oh, yeah," Naruto sounded disappointed. "Maybe that was something else. Maybe it was….throwing salt over your shoulder?"

"_What_?" Sakura demanded, before shrugging. "Worth a try, I guess. You have salt in that backpack of yours?"

"No, I was hoping you do."

"No," Sakura shook her head. "What should we do?"

Naruto was about to respond with another stupidly incredibly useless idea that would not help them in the least when a whirlwind of motion blasted onto the scene causing Sakura and Naruto to both shriek like little girls. Without thinking they both flung their arms around each other and clung to the other for dear life completely oblivious to the physical contact.

"What are you doing with MY Sakura-chan?" a voice shrieked at them, more specifically, at Naruto. Naruto's head shot up at Lee's voice. Lee looked appalled and told them as much, too. "I am **appalled**," he told them, giving them a look of complete and utter disapproval.

She was so much in shock that Lee's words didn't quite register in Sakura's mind and it took her more than a couple minutes to realize she was entangled with Naruto. Making an unpleasant face she pulled away. "I'm so relieved," she started to tell Lee just how relieved she was he wasn't a ghost or some other undead creature when he cut in.

"Yes, I've come to save you from Naruto's advances. I know it must be irritating you so, my love!" Lee made a loving face towards Sakura, hearts in his eyes to complete it. Turning towards Naruto, he gave his friend a sort of apologetic yet determined look. Naruto stared at him in disbelief and Sakura shared a similar expression on her face.

"_Your _advances are more irritating, Lee-kun!" She told him, then softened up, continuing, "But I am glad it was you and not some ghost."

"Ghost?" Lee looked confused. Naruto and Sakura both opened their mouths to explain but Lee shook his head and put his hands out in order to stop them from speaking. He put his hand to his forehead and hopped around as if searching for anyone that might be spying on them. Satisfied that they were okay, he squatted down in front of them, his face a look of total seriousness. Sakura and Naruto exchanged a confused glance. Lee cleared his throat, "My sources tell me that you're part of the special breakfast team. Is this true?" He gave them an intense penetrating stare.

Naruto and Sakura now exchanged nervous glances. Sakura cleared her throat uncertainly. "Uh, I don't know—I don't know what you're talking about," she tried realizing how pathetic it sounded as each word left her mouth.

"So, they are," Lee said. Naruto and Sakura looked at each other before looking at Lee confused. Lee was obviously talking to someone else. A hooded ominous figure stepped out from the shadows. Naruto, Sakura, and even the still hidden Neji were all shocked.

"Where did he come from?" Naruto demanded, pointing.

"Shino?" Sakura was speechless as well.

"…" Shino simply stared at them. Lee turned towards Shino.

"They are on the special breakfast team Tsuande commissioned." Lee shook his head and looked at Sakura sadly. "Sorry, Sakura-chan, but we cannot allow you to succeed in your mission."

Naruto gasped. "You're part of PHA, too?"

Lee and Shino both shook their heads. "No," Lee explained as gently as he could manage, which might have been easier to do if he hadn't been so impassioned. "We take no part of that. None of those others know what we know. They haven't experienced the wonders of _French toast_," he declared, his eyes shiny at just the thought of his beloved breakfast. Shino nodded his agreement. Looking at Sakura, he sighed sadly. "Sorry, my love, but even you are second to French toast."

"**_What?" _**Sakura bellowed, veins popping up all over the place because she was so beyond insulted. Even Naruto looked insulted.

"You'd put French toast before Sakura-chan? I consider her slightly more important then ramen!"

"Not helping," Sakura muttered, trying to quell her anger. Collecting herself, she forced a fake smile at Lee and Shino. "So, Lee-kun, what _is _French toast exactly?"

Lee's eyes became sparkly, "It's the best thing ever," he proclaimed.

"I think Shikamaru and Ino would disagree," Naruto muttered.

"Who cares about those waffle people?" Lee practically screamed close to hysterics. Naruto and Sakura both jumped shocked. "It's all about the French toast," he shouted, then clenching his fist with stars in his eyes, announced, "I'm going to go get some right now!" And with that, he was off in a whirlwind of frenetic energy.

Sakura, Naruto, and Shino all stared after him shocked. The still hidden Neji wasn't shocked at all; it had always been of his opinion that Lee obviously had a few screws loose in his brain. He was passionate about French toast—what did that say? Although, in Neji's opinion the whole village had pretty much been shot since Tsunade's little breakfast obsession thing. Everyone was fighting over which syrupy breakfast was best; a few people were even in a sausage biscuit club. Personally, Neji _hated all _breakfast foods. He liked to eat cold pizza, cheeseburgers, veal, and prime rib for breakfast because he was a freak like that and the Main House members ate things like pancakes, waffles, and French toast for breakfast and he would be cold and dead before he ever at the same meal they were eating.

"So, what's up, Shino?" Naruto smiled, trying to act like everything was normal.

"…"

"So, ah, uhm," Naruto put his hand behind his head, nervously. "You like French toast?"

"Yes."

"What is it?" Sakura asked again.

"…" Shino seemed to consider her question, before answering. "It's from the Hidden French Village."

"What?" Naruto and Sakura both asked simultaneously.

"It's a new community that just sprang up," Shino went on to explain. "French ninja people hang out there and eat French toast. I stole some and it was the best thing I've ever stolen." Shino decided not to mention it was the _only _thing he'd ever stolen, viewing this pieces of information was useless to his cause.

"Uh, yeah, okay," Sakura tried not rolling her eyes. "We'll have to check it out sometime."

"Village isn't hard to miss, there's a huge tower jutting out from it," Shino told them.

Naruto and Sakura nodded their heads, smiling. "Oh, okay, great, thanks, Shino!" Naruto thanked him and he and Sakura both started to leave.

"You do realize I can't let you finish this, right?" Shino asked them, sounding so serious that Naruto and Sakura thought the might just send his bugs out at that very moment to kill them in the name of French toast.

"Uh, how'd you know we be here?" Sakura asked, latching onto the first thought that came to her mind.

"Internet," Shino said in an "isn't-it-obvious" voice. Sakura stared at him before screaming in frustration. No matter what happened, she was constantly reminded of her lack of knowledge on the internet matter.

A/N: Will Sakura ever find the internet? Will Naruto and Sakura find their sap grove or will Shino kill them in the name of French toast? And before I go on with questions, I can promise that Kiba and Kakashi will reappear next chapter. Sasuke and Orochimaru might even join in the breakfast debate fun. Anyway, please leave a review and thank you!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: This took awhile. Hah, I was busy downloading various manga like a lunatic and reading it as if it wouldn't be here tomorrow. I promise I will reply to reviews this time around. I completely forgot last time because I'm a knave. (Heck, I forgot I updated this story) Anyway, JA-Japster and BlackMageRose13's fics are mentioned in this, so if you haven't, be sure to check them out, okay? (Yeah, they're not made up and I don't think either will mind my reference. If they do, they can email me). They rock! (and they're on my faves if you need help getting there)I think this chapter seems different than the others (probably because I actually put a little thought into this. Read: little.). Also, I realized, I refer to Konoha as so, but the Hidden Sound as so, so please forgive me. I'm too lazy to go through my chapters and change all the Konohas to "Hidden Leaf."

* * *

Panting heavily, Sakura hurriedly pushed yet another tree branch out of her way, sweat pouring off her body as she pushed its limits. Never would she have guessed someone could so faithfully pursue others in the name of breakfast. She and Naruto had thought about splitting up to confuse Shino, but quickly nixed the idea, realizing Shino probably had every bug in the forest after them. He was right beside her frantically pushing branches aside. Facing a crazed Shino was towards the bottom of both their lists of things they wanted to accomplish in life.

"We can't run forever," Sakura whispered, glancing about wildly. "We can't really do anything," she despaired.

"What?" Naruto asked looking over at her, surprised. "It's just Shino. Maybe he'll cool down? If not, we could just hide in the next village we come to."

"Who knows when that'll be!" Sakura exclaimed. "We're already lost enough as it is," she shook her head as they both raced forward, praying Shino would trip over a branch and be knocked out temporarily. "Shino isn't going to give up. He's obviously lost his mind along with the rest of Konoha."

"What about me? I'm not obsessing over breakfast!" He grinned manically. "I guess that means we're the only two sane people left. In order for the village to continue on," he stopped, involuntarily shuddering at the intense glare he was on the receiving end of. Even at the unbelievably fast pace the two were going, Sakura's glare was still enough to give a person nightmares.

"You were never sane to begin with," she snapped at him. Naruto looked ready with a comeback, but something caught his eye and he came to a sudden halt, dirt and debris flying chaotically all around him before settling back to the ground. It took Sakura a couple moments to realize Naruto had stopped. Grabbing a tree branch, she locked on, forcing herself to stop, looking back anxiously.

Gleaming in the moonlight, Naruto's wide eyes locked onto the pair of eyes trained onto him. Sakura's voice seemed far away even as she got closer, demanding to know what had stopped him so suddenly. She stopped beside him, following his eyes to the source of his sudden paralysis. Confusion and excitement roiled within her, her eyes lighting up at the sight. "Sasuke-kun?" she whispered disbelievingly.

Elsewhere, Shino's mad mission for the cause of French toast had been brought to a halt. Sensing that his time of screwing around was up, Neji had come out of hiding, finally unable to stand all the attention food was getting. Shino and Lee had just interrupted his antics; Sakura and Naruto had believed him to be a ghost. He could've had a lot more fun if not for those two French toast maniacs. Neji glared at the younger man, clearly not happy with the events that had unfolded in the last hour.

Shino returned his glare with one of his own; these glares might have been much more effective if Shino wasn't wearing eyeglasses and if Neji had pupils. Nonetheless, both could feel the others aggravation and prepared to fight. "You don't like French toast?" Shino asked, sounded more than a little offended at even the very _thought_ of someone not liking his precious food.

"I hate all foods the Main House eats. I make it a priority to only eat different foods."

"I thought you were over that?"

"You thought wrong." Neji paused. "But I am getting there."

"I haven't shared the wonders of French toast with Kiba or Hinata yet," Shino's expression wasn't easily detectable due to his choice of outfit, but Neji could easily pick up on his scheming aura.

"What are you planning?" He demanded.

Shino's shoulders moved slightly as he let out a short, muffled chuckle. "In other words, the Main House hasn't tried French toast. How would you like to beat them to something?" He said the last sentence as if he were temping Neji with the title of Hokage.

Neji mulled over this for a couple moments before nodding his head decisively. "Yes, I would love that," he confirmed. Shino nodded curtly and motioned for him to follow, Naruto and Sakura not completely forgotten. He would pick up pursuit after he had converted Neji. They needed all the recruits they could get.

At Konoha, Kakashi stared dubiously into a bowl of batter. Sniffing it, he shook his head in disgust. The supposedly perfect recipe Tsunade had commanded him to follow had not been working out at all. He had put the recipe aside awhile ago and decide to create the perfect pancake _himself. _He had promptly thrown himself into his work, under the assumption it wouldn't take too long at all; after all, he was a genius. After he finished, he could sit down and watch _Ninja Idol_. Perfect pancake making was no easy job as Kakashi quickly found out. Even so, he felt his pancakes so far tasted far better than the junk he'd been making while following that ridiculous recipe.

Tsunade hummed happily to herself, the definition of bliss. Upbeat tunes and sweet aromas permeated her living space. It made life seem as sweet as it should be. It also caught the attention of a certain ninja and he walked in, glancing around nervously.

Kiba wasn't entirely sure what had possessed him to suddenly go into the Hokage's office. He hoped it wasn't his slipping sanity. Breathing in the air, he sighed in delight. "It really smells good in here," he told Tsunade who regarded him suspiciously. She was leaning over a device Kiba had never seen before. It was a weird glowing square connected to another odd device with letters on it. "Hey, what is that?" he pointed.

"You're not in the know," she stated bluntly, venomously. Kiba felt like he had just been slapped and stepped back, shocked. Sighing she shook her head, "I shouldn't have snapped, but you interrupted me during one of my favorite fanfics, _A Ninja's Guide to Surviving High School. _You had just been knocked out, too."

Confused wouldn't accurately describe Kiba's current state as he was in a state far beyond confusion. "I, uh, do I want to know?" he asked, chuckling nervously, hoping it would break some of the tension in the room.

"I don't think you could handle it," she told him flat out. Kiba looked ready to protest him when she made a shooing motion at him with her hand. "Go now, I have to finish this fic, and then read the update on another one of my favorite fics, _Dance of the Sun and Moon_. After I'm caught up on that I have to RP with my awesome friend, okay? And I need to download lots of manga, too. So, bye!"

Kiba stared at her. "Huh? RP? Fanfic? Manga? Wha?" At her stern glare, he nodded his head, "Okay, gotcha. Bye," he stumbled out of the building where Akamaru waited loyally for his master. "Akamaru," he shook his head, "I think our leader has some serious problems." He hopped onto the dog and urged it forward towards home. "I still don't know what the _know _is. And I didn't even get to ask her what irksome means," he lamented, his mind still dizzy at all the foreign words Tsunade had so easily thrown around in their conversation. It only added to the list of words he needed to match up with definitions. He looked up to the sky gloomily, "I shouldn't have slept so much in class, huh?"

Sakura bit her lip, eyes wandering to the side a bit. Sasuke and Naruto had yet to move an inch and Sakura was starting to feel a bit weary. The tension in the air was enough to make any sane person want to run away screaming at the top of their lungs. Vaguely, she wondered if the insanity that was Konoha had finally managed to dig it's ugly claws in her mind. Frenetic energy cackled between the two boys and she desperately wished they would just do _something. _Just standing there as time slipped away never to return made her even more uncomfortable and anxious. Why didn't Naruto say anything? She really wanted to hear him ask Sasuke if he'd found any good ramen in the Hidden Sound Village because no ramen could possibly top the excellence of the illegal ramen bars in Konoha. Hearing Sasuke call Naruto a "moron" or "idiot" would be like what oxygen is to a drowning person for Sakura's ears. At the thought of oxygen, a panicky thought flashed across her mind: she was suffocating in this silence. Finally, unable to stand it anymore, she clenched her fist at her sides and jumped in between the two, eyes squeezed shut.

"Please, one of you, _say something,_" she pleaded, opening her eyes and glancing between the two.

"Huh? Sakura-chan?" Naruto started. "Where'd you come from?"

Sakura's jaw dropped and she gave Naruto her best utterly insulted look she could manage. _"Idiot!" _she cried, dropkicking him. Naruto fell to the ground, bewildered.

"What? What'd I do?"

"You two get along as well as ever, don't you?"

Sakura and Naruto's attention snapped back over to Sasuke. Sakura laughed sheepishly. "Yeah. Hah." She stood there awkwardly as Naruto got up and dusted himself off. "Uh," she stuck her hand behind her head, "So, Sasuke-kun, how've you been?"

Sasuke easily evaded the question, clearly not interested in sharing his personal life. "What brings you here?"

Sakura laughed again and Naruto smirked bemused. "Syrup," he said.

"Syrup?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

Sakura hit Naruto on the arm, annoyed. "Not _just _syrup! We wanted to see you again. We want you to come home. Won't you?"

"Are you stupid?"

"Are you?" Naruto retorted. "We didn't want to see you. We came here for syrup. Why are you here?"

"I live here," Sasuke said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Naruto stared at him, his eyes clearing saying he didn't quite believe that. "You live in the village," Naruto pointed out. "I find it hard to believe you live out here in this forest." He paused. "_You _wanted to see _us._" Sakura glanced at Naruto, surprised. She hadn't picked up on that. She looked over to Sasuke, who also seemed impressed by Naruto's deductions, not that he let it show for more than a split second. Naruto grinned triumphantly. "I knew it. We don't have any ramen for you, though."

"Don't be ridiculous. I don't want any ramen."

Sakura groaned. "Oh, no. Don't tell us that you wanted to see us about our special breakfast mission." At Sasuke's blank stare, she looked relieved. "Thank goodness. I thought you might be upset over the pancake thing."

"Yeah," Naruto also looked relieved. "That's a relief. It would really blow if I had to fight you over something like pancakes or waffles or French toast. I wouldn't mind fighting over ramen, though," he added off-handedly.

"What exactly are you _doing _in Konoha?"

Naruto and Sakura exchanged glances. Naruto cleared his throat, explaining, "Tsunade decided it would be important to make the most perfect pancake breakfast."

"But this really upset some people and they formed clubs to counteract it. Since not everyone likes pancakes for breakfast," Sakura continued. "And, now, everyone is fighting over which breakfast is best. That's it in a nutshell."

"I don't eat breakfast," Sasuke informed them, rather mildly.

Naruto raised his brows. "Oh, too good for it?"

"Yes, I am."

Naruto looked honestly surprised as he truly hadn't expected such a blunt comeback. Sakura also seemed surprised by the egotistical claim. "But, Sasuke-kun," she ventured, "breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

"It was. But I conquered it."

Baffled glances were swapped between Sakura and Naruto before the latter of the two asked, "What exactly are you doing in the Hidden Sound?"

"If only you knew," Sasuke grinned maniacally.

"This doesn't bode well," Sakura grimaced as Sasuke chuckled a non-too-friendly chuckle. Naruto nodded his head in agreement with Sakura's statement.

Back in Konoha, Shikamaru threw himself lazily across his sleeping mat. It was nighttime and he should have been sleeping, but no, he had other things to do, he thought pouting to himself. He had a companion with him that seemed to be stuck to his side like glue lately due to the recent developments in the village. Sighing inwardly, he corrected his thoughts, thinking that it was more that _he _was glued to that person as she dragged him forcefully with her everywhere.

Ino popped her head around the door, frowning at him. "Get up off that mat, Shikamaru!" She commanded. "We have work to do if we want the PHA to continue growing. We need to find some members for the waffle club, too," she muttered, shaking her head. "So much work."

Shikamaru took his time, before pushing himself off the mat and wandering slowly to the kitchen in no particularly hurry despite the urgency in Ino's voice. With the way she exaggerated things, if one didn't know her very well, one would think that her very existence was in danger of being wiped out.

Ino was at the small table in the middle of the kitchen which was falling apart. One of the legs was bent so the table leaned precariously to one side, threatening to topple over any moment. Shikamaru wondering what had possessed her to insist they do things in this abandoned shack. He opened the freezer and pulled out a box of store brought waffles. Pulling out a couple he walked over the toaster, popped them in and waited. He had bought the toaster on the internet. Such a handy device, he couldn't help but think. If it wasn't for Ino forcing him out, he would just stay at home all day and use the internet for everything. However, Ino seemed to have this weird obsession with him. It wasn't that she _liked _him. She just seemed to be under the impression that since he was so smart if she remained in the same vicinity of him, her IQ would steadily rise until she was able to hack out strategies that would blow people into the next millennia. She was also hoping this would increase her ability in creating a master plan to destroy the Hokage's plan to name pancakes the perfect breakfast. Shikamaru had been quite surprised when he found that Ino hated pancakes with every fiber of her being despite claiming otherwise.

Shikamaru dumped some syrup on his waffles and stood at the counter, eating, doubtful the table would hold up if he joined Ino. It was rare good luck that the two of them had something in common: both liking waffles more than pancakes or other foods. He wasn't exactly sure why Ino liked waffles so much except for their taste. Personally, he didn't _mind _pancakes or French toast, which he knew about since he'd found a recipe online. However, they were so _troublesome _to make. He preferred just popping waffles into the toaster and waiting for them to pop out, then tearing into them, savoring the taste. Other breakfast foods like this just took too much time. Ino didn't seem to mind making waffles the old fashioned way, though. She made really good ones, too. Cooking was simply not his thing. Finishing up his waffles, he leaned against the counter, his chin resting in his hands.

"So, what's the plan, Ino?"

Ino looked up from her papers she had been so busily scribbling on. Glancing over it again, she nodded in self-approval. "Naruto and Sakura haven't come back from their date," she pointed out.

"So?" Shikamaru asked, raising his eyebrows.

"They acted suspicious. I think we should go and see how their little date is going."

"Fine by me. When do we leave?"

"Now."

"But it's dark out."

"Chicken?"

"No, it's just—it's dark out."

"We're leaving. Now." Ino hurried through the door. Shikamaru cast a glance towards the heaven that asked, _Why? Why me? _

A/N: I'd put questions here, but I can't come up with any. Except why am I still awake? I should be in bed. Anyway, please review and thanks in advance!


	6. Chapter 6

Hey y'all! So sorry this took forever. I was away for the whole summer in a place where you pretty much couldn't access the internet. Then we moved and, well, again no internet access. Then I couldn't remember where I was going with this and then I realized, "Heck, I was writing it for fun anyway!" Not like I'm taking it seriously. But I sure enjoy it! Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter, too. There was a big gap in writing it and the last chapter, so hope it turned out okay!

--

Naruto stared at Sasuke, a smirk breaking out across his face. Sasuke raised his eyebrows, ignoring the impatience he felt growing within him. Sakura's eyes remained trained on Sasuke, reveling at how handsome he'd become in the three years. Pirates were so her thing, after all. Not that he wasn't amazing before, but, now, with his pirate getup, Sakura felt like she might swoon. Of course, she wouldn't because she was a ninja and ninjas simply didn't swoon. Unless they were Hinata. Hinata swooned.

"I have the internet, you know," Naruto began, mischievously. Sasuke eyed him warily. Naruto continued, "I know the truth."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, suspicion evident. "The truth about what?" he asked, doubtful Naruto knew _anything. _Sakura looked more than slightly perturbed. Did Sasuke also have this internet?

"Your feelings," Naruto answered, "about us."

Sasuke stared at Naruto in disbelief, feeling pink tint his cheeks despite his valiant efforts to fight it. Whether it was from anger or embarrassment, he wasn't sure. Who did Naruto think he _was_, wanting to talk about _feelings_? Sakura's jaw hit the floor. Angrily, she yanked Naruto around, making him face her.

"Just what are you talking about, Naruto?" she demanded of the shocked Naruto. "You dragged me on this stupid date just to, just to!" she couldn't even finish. She paused, trying to catch her breath, "And, Sasuke, of all," she stopped when Naruto yanked his wrist out of her grasp.

He stared at her for a moment confused. "What are you talking about? And why are you so angry?"

Sakura had never been so confused before. "Wait," she began slowly, "_who_ exactly are you talking about when you say _us_?"

Naruto gave her an odd look, "_Us_," he said, waving his hand between himself and Sakura. "Konoha, our village. You know, where we're from."

Sakura's face turned an angry red. "I know that! _Idiot!" _She bopped him one. "Do you have any idea what we thought? You don't, do you?" Naruto shook his head, backing away slowly. Sakura took measured steps towards the retreating blonde. "You don't even know, do you? Do you!" Sakura turned towards Sasuke. "Sasuke," she stopped short, realizing their long lost friend was lost once again. Naruto looked, too.

"He left," Naruto scoffed. "That chicken. Good riddance."

"No, you idiot," she bopped him again. "You scared him away!" She grabbed at her hair. "Awww, we were so close, too. What were you thinking? Talking about feelings? Don't you know Sasuke-kun doesn't like that?"

"_What?_ We were nowhere near close. And maybe that's why Sasuke can't get it together," Naruto's voice rose as he defended himself. "Because he runs from everything!"

"He does _not_."

Naruto silently waved his hand in the direction Sasuke had been standing as if saying, 'Really, now?'

"He's just...confused." Sakura tried, desperately. Seeing Naruto's unconvinced look, she gave up, exasperated. "Fine, whatever." She paused. "Did you notice he left?"

Naruto shook his head. "Wow, we suck at being ninja."

Sakura rapidly shook her head, "No, no, it's just that Sasuke's too good, that's all."

"Whatever." Naruto rolled his eyes. "I think he must've used something. I wonder if he has the internet. Maybe he got invisible potion off eBay or something?"

Sakura stared at Naruto, "I haven't the slightest clue what you're talking about." Naruto grinned, eyes twinkling.

"But you will, once our date is over." Sakura hung her head in defeat, dejectedly following Naruto around the forest as they gathered more sap for syrup while keeping a lookout for their dark haired friend.

--

Shino watched with increasing intensity as Neji chewed on the French toast. Neji set his fork down, looked at Shino, then pushed the plate away. "I don't like it," he stated bluntly. Shino stared at him. Neji could feel the fury of Shino's gaze pierce thought those tiny sunglasses the bug ninja always wore.

"You know the French ninja here will kill you for that kind of remark."

A French ninja just so happened to pass their table at that moment and overheard the comment. He laughed good naturedly, "Oh, no, we're lovers, not fighters." He walked off.

Neji smirked at Shino. Shino's frown deepened and Neji could feel the angry aura coming off him like waves. "Fine, then I'll kill you," Shino stated, dead serious.

"I'd like to see you try," Neji challenged, rising from his chair.

"I'll do more than try," Shino promised also rising from his seat. Bugs quickly covered the ninja's body. Other patrons at the restaurant gasped, some screaming, others getting up to fight as well. However, they were all stopped by...yes, by bugs. Screams quickly filled the room as no one could get the bugs off them, everyone living their nightmare of having bugs covering their whole being.

Neji smirked at the bug smothered Shino, "Planning to sic those on me?" He asked as casual can be, unbothered by the imminent threat and chaos around him.

Shino regarded Neji suspiciously. The other ninja obviously had something up his sleeve. Neji's smirk broadened, almost to the point of a smile, but Neji was careful not to let _that_ happen. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny tube. Shino raised his eyebrows.

"What is that?"

"This?" Neji waved it in the air, and then proceeded to stick himself in the arm with it. Shino masked his shock as much as he could, but looked extremely uncomfortable. "It's nothing bad," Neji assured him, "well, not for me. It _is _for your bugs. It's Bug Repellent 5000. It turns my whole body into bug repellent. So, basically, the second they touch me, they fall to the floor withering in agonizing pain."

Shino frowned, quickly sending the bugs covering his body into hiding. Neji 'hmmp'ed' before quickly moving in on Shino and kicking him half way across the room. Shino arced through the air, too surprised by Neji's straightforward tactics to block. Realizing he had to stop his ascent through the air, he reached out, grabbing the first things his hands hit. Grasping the corner of a table, he managed to get his feet back on the ground, unharmed. The force of his grip was too much for the table and it flipped over Shino, hitting a few customers in the restaurant. Screams and shouts at the two were ignored as they advanced towards each other again, tension cackling in the air.

"Have fun, there?" Neji sneered, readying himself for an attack. When Shino didn't respond right away, he prodded, "No good without your bugs?"

Shino still remained silent, continuing moving towards Neji. He stopped by a table and lifted one of the chairs there. In seconds, the furniture was sailing through the air towards his opponent. Neji ducked, but was so busy trying to dodge that chair, he hadn't realized Shino had hurled another and was hit right in the chest. Another came flying at him, and he rolled on the floor blindly, wondering just what kind of freak ninja Shino was, hurling furniture around like an angry toddler. One of the screaming customers, rooted to the ground by Shino's bugs was knocked over by the force of Neji's body rolling into him. All the bugs scattered and experienced quick deaths as some were crushed by Neji's body and others nearby simply died due to being near Neji. Shino wondered just what kind of a freak ninja Neji was, not liking French toast, and then turning his whole body into a can of bug spray.

Neji hopped up, dusting dead bugs off his clothing. Spotting a plate of half eaten food, he picked it up, aimed, and sent it whizzing past all trapped customers straight at Shino. Shino reached up and caught it with ease. However, Neji had already thrown a spoon, knife, and fork as well and Shino wasn't lucky enough to avoid the fork. Due to the ninja force Neji had thrown it with, it wound up embedded in Shino's left shoulder. Yanking it out, Shino was careful not to let out any cries or pain. The already terrified customers began screaming even louder, growing more and more panicked. The man Neji had freed from bugs earlier jumped on Neji, wrestling a glass from his hands. Shino took this opportunity to hurl the plate he had caught back at Neji. The plate whizzed past the man wrestling with Neji and caught the ninja in the side. Neji's eyes widened, but, like Shino, he refused to make a sound. Grunting, he hurled the man into a nearby table, causing all the silverware to clatter noisily onto the floor, a cup knocking the man unconscious.

A few other customers looked downright horrified and three near Shino jumped him, screaming for him to get the bugs off them. Shino fought back, quickly knocking one out, but the other two were much larger than he and he spent quite some time rolling around on the floor, before escaping. Glancing in Neji's direction, he realized that his fellow ninja was in pretty much the same situation. Taking the opportunity, Shino fled to the streets, leaving the restaurant behind, knowing Neji would be quick to find him out there.

Neji kicked and punched and used his Byakugan to the point he thought he would go mad if he saw any more dead bugs. They fell like rain all around him as he was attacked repeatedly by customers covered in bugs. Sensing Shino's presence gone, he kicked off a couple customers and was promptly sprayed with more dead bugs. Jumping over a couple more crazed and angry customers, he wondered if this was how the characters in the zombie video games felt. Exiting the store he ran down the street, not pausing to catch his breath.

He skidded to a stop when Shino suddenly jumped out in front of him. Neji tried not to look too annoyed, though he really was quite annoyed.

"Okay," he breathed, glancing behind him. "I think we're safe from those maniacs."

"They were acting pretty crazy. I wonder what their deal was?" Shino asked innocently. Neji shrugged.

"Who knows? Let's finish this."

"No," Shino held up his hand, "Not here. For something this important, we have to fight at a special location."

Neji frowned, mulling over this for a moment, before realization dawned on him. Both boys grinned and in unison proclaimed, "_Tokyo Tower."_ With that, they both took off.

--

Sakura and Naruto had found a tree and were diligently collecting sap from it, Sakura mourning their short encounter with Sasuke, Naruto trying to forget it, attempting to ignore the fact Sasuke was definitely faster than him. Both ninjas came to a halt at the sound of foot crunching dead leaves on the ground. "Someone's here," Sakura mouthed, staring wide eyed at Naruto. "Sasuke...?" Naruto narrowed his eyes, frowning, then shook his head, "no" at Sakura's mouthed question. Both prepared for an attack, eyeing the direction the sound had come from.

"Heh, heh," a familiar voice greeted them, two robed figures with large hats stepping out of the darkness. "How are you two?"

"Oh my--_no way_," Sakura was struck speechless.

"What the heck?" Naruto stared at the two, shocked. "I-Ino? Shikamaru? Why are you dressed in that..._that_..._that?"_ Naruto could come up with no other word to describe his friends' bizarre clothes. They were black robes with little images of miniature waffles printed all over. To top it off, their hats had dangly ornaments of those same mini waffles. It was like a mockery of the Akatsuki clothing. Naruto stared, like Sakura, speechless.

"Oh, do you like our new wardrobe?" Ino struck a pose, while Shikamaru stood beside her, looking somewhere between incredibly bored and miserable, Naruto couldn't quite be sure. Ino continued, seemingly oblivious to the drastic shock she and Shikamaru had caused their fellow ninja, "we wanted to make sure everyone knew exactly what we thought of the Hokage and her precious pancakes," she said with an edge in her voice that cause both Sakura and Naruto's eyes to widen. "We figured this was the best way. If waffles don't get recognized, we will do something drastic."

Shikamaru remained silent until Ino elbowed him hard in the ribs. "Ow," he muttered, before, "Yes, something very drastic." He sighed. "Can we eat now?"

"What the heck are you two doing all the way out here?" Sakura finally found her voice. People just seemed to never cease surprising her nowadays.

"Yeah, you freakish stalkers," Naruto gave them odd look. "In whacked Akatsuki clothing. They would kill you on the spot, you know."

"What?" Ino's eyes narrowed. "The Akatsuki don't like waffles. That makes them an enemy."

"They already..." Sakura trailed off, sighing, shaking her head. "It's hopeless, Naruto," she muttered.

Noticing what Naruto and Sakura had been up to, Ino frowned. "You're getting sap for..._what_, exactly?"

Naruto shifted his weight uncomfortably. _Crud, she was talking about trying to find that special breakfast team earlier. She's gonna wanna kill us. _

Sakura frowned, already thinking along the same lines of Naruto. _But could they even kill in those ridiculous clothes. Man, it would so suck if we got whipped by them in those clothes. I mean, those waffle ornaments are small, but distracting. But…." Her thoughts trailed off as she stared at the waffles on Shikamaru's hat, dazed as they danced lightly in the breeze. _

Shikamaru groaned, annoyed. "They're getting sap for syrup for our waffles so we can _eat already_," he emphasized, making it clear to all three that if he didn't get food soon, he was not going to be a happy camper at all.

Sakura and Naruto quickly jumped on this excuse. "Yes, that's exactly it." They said in unison. Sakura glared at Naruto and he grinned at her.

"Ah, getting closer with each passing minute, huh?" Ino asked innocently. Sakura turned her glare on her while Naruto smiled, nodding cluelessly.

After about an hour, the four sat down to waffles drenched in syrup. Despite their attempts to save some syrup for Tsunade, Ino had insisted on using it _all. _Sakura had been extremely annoyed when Naruto started whipping more bizarre stuff out of his backsack, allowing them to make syrup and waffles there on the spot. What had really gotten her was that Shikamaru and Ino had watched casually and asked no questions, as if they already had seen half this stuff and Shikamaru had alluded to _having_ half the stuff Naruto had.

"So," Ino cut into her waffles and began chewing noisily. Even Naruto gave her an odd look. _Naruto_ gave her an odd look. Sakura stared horrified. Shikamaru watched the two, clearly amused to no end.

"Yeah, I was surprised, too," he muttered.

"Why again are you two way out here?" Ino asked around her mouthful of waffles.

"Oh," Naruto looked down at his waffles, "Uh, just getting syrup for waffles." Sakura nodded, trying her best not to stare at Ino, who was very clearly lacking in table manners. Sakura was fairly positive Ino hadn't always acted this savagely at the table. _Must be the waffles, _she thought staring at them, suddenly scared to try them. Naruto seemed to be having similar thoughts as he hesitantly cut his, not yet eating them.

"You should eat those," Ino growled, noting the two had yet to take a bite. She stood up suddenly. They looked up at her, surprised. "I'm going to get more," she explained, indicating her empty plate. She stalked off across their camp, preparing her more waffles.

Naruto's jaw dropped and Sakura stared after her bewildered. "But, but," she stuttered. "She had _four!!" _Naruto nodded, also shocked, gingerly taking a bite of one of his waffles.

"It is good, though." He swallowed. "But," he looked over to Shikamaru, "why are you dressed in those ridiculous clothes?"

"_Ridiculous?!" _Ino practically screamed plopping back into her chair, waffles on her plate.

"_Oh my gosh!" _Naruto and Sakura both jumped and wound up hugging each other in pure terror. Realizing what had happened, Naruto tried snuggling closer and Sakura pushed him away annoyed.

"What the heck?! How did you manage to do that so fast?" Sakura demanded, trying to calm her racing heart.

Ino grinned proudly. "I used my mad cooking waffles ninja skills!" Naruto practically choked on his waffle and Ino glared furiously in his direction. "Don't make fun of my mad waffle skills. Or my clothes. You know what happened to the _last _person who made fun of us?"

Sakura glanced over at Shikamaru who quickly looked away. "I had no part in it," he quickly assured them.

"But you _should have_!" Ino slammed her fist on the table. "He may have been our teacher, but he didn't like waffles," she spat.

Naruto and Sakura both stared at her, shocked. "_You wha?" _

"Hey," Ino flipped her hair over her shoulder, "you can hire hitninja over the internet, you know? It sure came in handy for me."

"_Whaa?_"

"You two sure do make a cute couple. You're always speaking in unison nowadays." She looked up and frowned, noticing two empty places at the table. Turning to Shikamaru she asked, "What? Where'd they go?"

"_Gee, I wonder,_" he answered, sarcastically. "Don't you think you're taking this a bit far? First the thing with Asuma. Oh, and thanks for never telling me about it until _after _the fact. Now we're stalking Naruto and Sakura. Do you really think they're in on Tsunade's Breakfast Mission?"

"Why else would they be out getting sap for syrup?"

"They could be part of a Breakfast Club, too. They aren't the first we've seen getting sap from the trees."

"Yeah, but they seem the most disinterested in breakfast," she pointed out. Shikamaru nodded, impressed. He hadn't actually expected her to notice that tidbit.

"This syrup is really good speaking of which," he took another bite of his waffle. "You could probably make a killing selling it."

"It's very delicious," Ino agreed. "And it only belongs on waffles."

---

"Have you ever noticed that we always seem to be running away lately?" Sakura breathlessly questioned Naruto as the two tried to catch their breath. "We've got to be far away now."

"Yeah, we've run for one heck of a long time," he nodded, glancing at the sky. It was starting to lighten. "I'm too scared to sleep, though," he admitted. "With Ino and Sasuke both hanging out here." He glanced over his shoulder, assuring himself that Sasuke wasn't nearby. He was sure he would detect Ino and Shikamaru but he had definite doubts about Sasuke.

"Y'know, I wouldn't admit this to just anyone," Sakura began, "but I'm scared, too. Maybe we should keep moving until we can find an Inn to stay in?"

"Now if feels like we're in some weird RPG. I wonder if we'll get other party members?"

_"What?"_

"Oh, that's right. You wouldn't know. Never mind."

"Whatever," Sakura crossed her arms. She sighed sadly, "That syrup was really good," she lamented. "But Ino kept the recipe!"

"It's okay!" Naruto assured her. "I'll try to find it on the internet. That must be where she got it from."

"Will you _shut up_ about the internet already?" she practically screamed. Naruto laughed and the two walked off, cautious of their surroundings.

--

Sadly, no Kiba, Lee, Tsunade, or Kakashi this chapter. I'll fit them in next time. And, hopefully, Neji and Shino will do more than throw furniture around, but, heh, that was fun. My cousin should be posting her cute and funny Naruto fanfics, so be sure to check them out. We're under the same name. Yes, confusing but fun! And, now I can guiltlessly read other fanfics for a short amount of time! Yay!


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